The world has lost a shooting star. Matthew Sperry was hit by a car while on his bicycle this morning, and left this earth shortly after. In addition to being a wonderful father to two-year-old Lila Simone and husband to our good friend (and doula) Stacia, Matthew was an incredible bass player, a rising star who appeared on Tom Waits’ last two albums (and an accompanying David Letterman show), the last Anthony Braxton record, David Byrne’s “Feelings,” a fantastic Black Cat Orchestra recording called “Mysteries Explained,” and on and on. His resume tells the story.
Matthew also played bass / chorus member for half a year in the San Francisco production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, not because it paid well, but because he loved the story, loved the outrageousness of it all. Even if it meant having black fingernails and traces of eyeliner by daylight for months on end (check his fingernails in the play-dough image below).
I’ve got one of Matthew’s older avante garde recordings with an outfit called “Impossible Underpants” (his comment denying that Impossible Underpants ever existed is here), and Matthew’s bent for comical strangetude is all over it. Matthew was also the mastermind behind Los Platanos Machos Quattros, the four-piece guitar outfit we put together for Roger’s 40th birthday, just to create and sing one song. Matthew was a trip, relentlessly creative.
I also have a CD by “The Matthew Sperry Trio,” only Matthew isn’t on it — it’s a quartet comprised of musician friends of his, who just wanted to name themselves “The Matthew Sperry Trio.” Inside, the liner notes are plastered with pictures of him as teen idol, pinup boy, clean-shaven, short hair. The centerfold pictures him naked, holding a stuffed frog. This is how Matthew affected the people around him – his sweet, slightly surrealistic sense of humor was inspiring and contagious.
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As Amy said, when he saw you, he hugged you, and he hugged you good, like he was really really happy to see YOU. He called me once while sick, flat on his back, just to chat, reaching out toward friendship even at his lowest. He worked so hard to feed his family, was always so full of good cheer and crazy ideas. I can’t believe he’s gone. Nothing anyone can say or do can rewind the moment, change the fact that a shining star has blinked out for good.
Seeing his giant standup bass cases around Stacia and Lila’s house today was hard. Larger than life, they stood in corners like proxies for Matthew, just hanging out with us, maybe laughing, maybe plucking, slapping, sawing at their own strings. I don’t have any good pictures of Matthew playing, but here’s a good one (playing with Dan Plonsey — a Bay Area composer and improvisor with whom Matthew played often — they shared a strong aesthetic).
Our hearts go to Stacia and Lila, who have the hardest road of grieving in front of them. I hope that Lila is old enough to one day have a glimmer of memory of her wonderful father.
Dazed, I picked up a book of Chuang Tzu’s writings off the top of a packing stack tonight, and opened up to this line:
How do I know that the dead do not wonder why they ever longed for life?
We pray that Matthew is at peace, happy, making amazing music somewhere.
Updates: The Oakland Tribune ran a brief memorial piece on Matthew. The SF Chronicle had another.
If you would like to leave flowers or memoria at the accident site, this map will get you there. Stacia’s friend Erika (who is being a rock through all of this, valiantly holding things together) asks any camera-oriented folk to please photograph whatever gets placed at the site.
Bassist Mike Watt dedicated the encore of the final show of his “the cord that spun its own top” tour to Matthew.
A memorial concert for Matthew will be held June 19 and all are invited. This information has gone out on the newswire.
Matthew’s memorial took place Monday, June 9 at 1:00 in Oakland. A summary of the memorial service is here. The program guide can be downloaded in PDF format.
If you are in the New York City area, a memorial will take place Saturday, June 14, at 4pm in in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Sheri Cohen plans to go to Volunteer Park in Seattle at 9:30 PM on Tuesday, June 10 to remember Matt. She invites all who would like to join her to meet at the ‘donut’ and all can go off to a quiet place together.
LeapFrog, Matthew’s last employer, is setting up a college fund for Lila through Bank of America. Details are still pending and will be posted here as soon as they are available.
In the following days, Shiva will continue at Stacia and Matthew’s home. Please feel free to visit during the day. Stacia would love to see you. Shiva will end on Father’s Day, with a memorial walk leaving from Stacia and Matthew’s home at 4:00 p.m.
The memorial service for Matthew Sperry was held at the Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland California on Monday June 9th from 1:00 PM to 3:00 PM.
The Chapel of the Chimes
at the Entrance to the the Mountain View Cemetery
4499 Piedmont Ave, Oakland, CA 94611-4218
The family is declining flowers and would like any donations sent to a fund for Lila’s education. More information will be available regarding the fund on Monday. There will be an opportunity to make statements at the service if you would like to prepare anything ahead of time. For those of you traveling via a bereavement flight, the funeral director is Edward Bell (510) 654-0123. Those of you in the New York Area should contact Marna Schoen to coordinate a New York area memorial.
Matthew’s memorial concert will be on June 19th. Details here.
Knowing Matt for just a short time from hearing about him from harris, coming up to the bay area to play treatise with Gino and then the Pauline Oliveros concerts I considered myself lucky to have met him from the getgo. His warmth and openness permeated the atmosphere before he even said a word. Just his smile alone made me feel like he will be and infact already is a good friend. The first time we met and played he wrote a note for me to take back down to Harris in LA with a sign off of
XOXO, Matthew.
I thought to myself then, as Harris and I were saying to eachother today, that on a short list of the sweetest and truest people that I know he is at the top.
I will miss his inventive musicianship and miss him as a warm and open being.
I cant believe it.
To Stacia and Lila my strongest and most heartfelt condolences and thoughts got out to you.
xoxo
sara schoenbeck
Knowing Matt for just a short time from hearing about him from harris, coming up to the bay area to play treatise with Gino and then the Pauline Oliveros concerts I considered myself lucky to have met him from the getgo. His warmth and openness permeated the atmosphere before he even said a word. Just his smile alone made me feel like he will be and infact already is a good friend. The first time we met and played he wrote a note for me to take back down to Harris in LA with a sign off of
XOXO, Matthew.
I thought to myself then, as Harris and I were saying to eachother today, that on a short list of the sweetest and truest people that I know he is at the top.
I will miss his inventive musicianship and miss him as a warm and open being.
I cant believe it.
To Stacia and Lila my strongest and most heartfelt condolences and thoughts got out to you.
xoxo
sara schoenbeck
To the Sperry Family,
Indeed this is a sad day for all of us. Matthew was a dear, sweet soul who will be truly missed by his family and friends. All of us here at Virage enjoyed working with him. For me, I will miss his encouragement and his smile. When I started studying to be a midwife, Matthew and his wife encouraged me by sharing their experiences with me (along with the video) of the birth of their beautiful daughter. I will never forget his kindness.
Our prayers are with you Matthew and your family.
Sincerely,
Mosella Harris
Virage, Office Manager
I only met Matt once, at the Hedwig show, I talked to him for a little while after the show. I remember really liking him and wanting to get to know him better. Reading all of these comments about him and what he did made my cry. The world has lost a good man. I’m sad that I will never be able to get to know him.
Francis
I have never met, nor heard about Matthew. But reading your post and the comments, I know he was a very good person who left this world to early and I cannot help feeling sad for his wife and daughter. I present to them my sincere sympathy.
Matthew was a very special person and one of the most talented and foward-thinking artists I have ever known or worked with. He was a very important influence on my music and my life, and I will truly miss him. My thoughts and condolences go out to his family, friends and the musical communities that he was such an integral part of.
Sincerely,
Tom Baker
i haven’t seen matt for years but i was so excited for him and stacia when i heard he was a father. i have always felt deeply indebted to matt for introducing me to so much new music and ways of approaching that music. he gave so much encouragement. matt was the first person to invite me to play in an improvised music festival anywhere (this was in seattle) now here i am organizing my own festival nine years in a row. stacia i only met you once- i was stuck in oakland on my own and just by accident ran into matt in front of amoeba and he let me ride with him all the way back up to seattle. I think it was one of the last trips he made down before he had decided to move down permanently to be with you. we had a long drive and spoke of many things, he was so excited to make the move to be with you, clearly a man in love and perfectly clear about it.
arrington de dionyso
Matthew. I still catch myself thinking I’ll see your smiling face at your desk as I walk by. I was just joking around with you at work on Tuesday. We were talking about music for a project we’re doing together on Wednesday with another teammate, and you shared a Luna bar with me.
Stacia and Lila, we’ll do whatever we can here at work to help. Julian and Anna, love and hugs to you both.
I told my 8 yr old son, Nico, about Matthew dying, and he said, ‘But Mom, he has a baby!’
Man, I’ll miss your slow smile, your easy-going nature, your forward-thinking, your joyful spirit.
Stacia, I wish you strength and support in the times ahead..
Love and Peace,
Jane (Matt’s supervisor at Leapfrog for the last 2 1/2 months.)
Matthew is truly one of my heroes, a dear friend though I haven’t seen him in several years. What a beautiful human being, a huge inspiration, a peer who regularly went far beyond the boundaries of what seemed possible in my world at that time, who continues to challenge me. He rocked my world. What a sweet wonderful strong guy. I can’t believe we don’t get to hang and play with him again, realize more potential…
I remember clearly seeing him for the first time— Matt was at the Penny University Cafe in Seattle, probably in 1994, playing with Aitsi (Christian Asplund, Rob Reigle…). Matt reminded me of a spider–hunched, crouched around his bass, dancing with it, contorting it and himself into all kinds of shapes and sounds. I hadn’t seen anyone be so physical and childlike in this way with a bass and I was surprised how good he sounded. I immediately knew this was a musician I had to play with, and over the next years in Seattle in various gigs, recordings, seders, parties, potlucks, Wayne Horvitz’s basement, eating Chinese veggie duck in Olympia, looking at a stars on an extraordinarily clear mountain night with Wally Shoup after a bizarre gig near Yakima, midnight skinny dips in Lake Washington, he expanded my world–musically, politically, culinarily…
After some time of no contact with him after I moved to NYC and he to Oakland, I chanced to write him an email the day Lila was born, telling him that my wife Alissa was pregnant. He wrote back full of enthusiasm, love, and joy, recommended to me several books on the birth process, including one called Spiritual Midwifery which became very important in shaping my sense of what it was meaning to become a father and create life. In a way Matthew was a spiritual midwife to me and I’m sure many others lucky enough to hang with him…
thank you Matthew, I love you….
I have worked with Matt’s mother for about 13 years or so. She is a wonderful woman and there was nothing that I loved to hear more than her stories about Matt. I always asked about him even though I did not know him personally. It was clear to me that he lived every day to the absolute fullest and had a beautiful and rich perspective on life. I spent a wonderful day with Harriet driving around Colorado Springs listening to a tape of the Gamelan Pacifica group that Matt performed with. I still play that tape. It evokes a wonderful and peaceful feeling. Matt was surely a rare and special person. I feel fortunate even to have just heard the stories of his life. I share the sorrow of all who loved him.
Suzanne O’Malley
The wind was knocked out of me when I read the terrible news this morning. I’m still very much in a state of shock, and I am not looking forward to this sinking in.
My partner Rodney, posted earlier about our first meeting Matthew. What he didn’t mention is that our first conversation happened in a theater lobby when Matt introduced himself to us and said that I had interviewed him for a job and not hired him. In what I came to know as a typical Matthew response, he laughed it off and said it really did turn out for the best and that was the start of our friendship.
When I talked about Matthew, I almost always prefaced it with ‘The NICEST person I have ever met…’ One hears phrases like that at terrible times like these, but in this case it was certainly the truth. As others have mentioned, even if you saw him only rarely, he always made you feel like you were THE person he most wanted to see and spend time with.
He was also one hell of a musician. In my mind I have a vivid history of him stroking, plucking, banging, caressing, and becoming one with that bass that was often his voice. He was always as wonderful to watch as he was to hear, and he was always full of gratitude for folks who enjoyed his talents.
I’m not much of a wedding person, but when he married Stacia, it was one of the most beautiful events I have ever experienced. Everything about it was beautiful – the love that was contagious that filled the hall, the music, the friends, the food, the smiles. Matthew and Stacia glowed. Love won. When we received news that they were parents, I remember that Rodney and I were thrilled that the world would be getting two amazing parents. We thought Lila must be a most fortunate girl indeed.
And right now, none of this makes sense – and I send my warmest thoughts to Stacia, Lila, and all of Matthew’s family and friends. This is just very, very sad.
There was something very full circle, that night when Matthew was on TV playing with Tom Waits – this person I had idolized for decades on stage with this person I actually KNEW who was ‘the nicest person I have ever met’ – I think I emailed everyone I ever met to tell them how exciting it all was…I must have watched that tape 100 times, it was all just so very unreal, and it just made me smile and smile and smile. I cherish that memory.
Through grief and tears and an utter loss for words, I send my sincerest sympathies to Stacia and Lila and the Sperry family.
The loss of Matthew leaves a huge and indelible void in our hearts.
Matthew: We will always love you, as we loved you in life.
I had the pleasure — and it was indeed a wonderful rush — of writing about Matt’s music while he was an anchor in the Seattle improvised music scene. His excitement at being heard was palpable, as was his warmth. I can’t claim great personal closeness, but Matt was always, always so excited to spend even a minute at a gig or anywhere just hanging out and catching up. And he had such a joy on stage when playing that you couldn’t help feeling intense joy watching and listening. Now it’s intense sadness at his loss –but still joy at having known and heard him.
I didn’t know Mathew. I learned of his death through the neighborhood email group. I am deeply saddened to learn of his loss. My heart reaches out to his daughter Lila, wife Stacia, and his friends and family. Take care Mathew, where ever you are.
Ian
i am honored to have known and loved matthew. his life is an inspiration, his laugh intoxicating, his love for life catching, and his adoration of stacia and lila beautiful and humbling…
i miss him. all my love matthew.
i still cant believe it. he was always supportive of me, and others. he found a way to keep relationships strong while still having strong opinions. i also must say he was a a very technically acomplished player, i always meant to get lessons from him. since he was so busy with his family and career, i did not see him much even though he was 5 blocks away.
when you say he was “nice guy”, he REALLY was. not in a fake california way but very real.
he is really the last one this should happen to.
i had great conversation with him less than two weeks ago. i learned so much from him, just about dealing with people. he was going to do an important recording i was unable to do, and i remeber feeling really good about it. the last concert i saw of his was a fantastic sextet. it had a profond effect on my approach to the quintet project i had coming up.
any i will always remmber him as a great person and player.
it is an unbearable loss. im sorry stacia and lila.
damon
p.s. lets not forget his fantastic trio cd with john butcher and gino robair.
The first email I read today 6-6-03 was that announcing this horrible accident. Matt was one of the “good ones”. I had recorded him many times in many different situations and I remembered him as an outstanding bass player. We used to call him “studio ace”. He the first bass player to tell me why bass is difficult to record. He siomply said that most bass players play flat. He also told me that knowing this gave him an edge because he would purposly sharpen his playing when reecording. That’s why the recordings I did with him were steller. A true master of his instrument. I can’t believe he’s gone.
Life is too delicate. It’s so hard to remember, and so awful to be reminded this way. Did he wake up and wonder if he’d make it through the day? Did Stacia imagine that she’d have a child to raise without a father? Too raw, unreal. Just a moment ago I was working in the yard, and now there’s life and death to consider, again.
Stacia, your loss overwhelms me. Lilas loss. And at the same time I know that your strength, love, passion, and vitality will move you through this absurd tragedy in a way that will be, again, an inspiration. Lila is so lucky to have you. Please count on me for whatever I can do to help you through this.
Matthew, thank you for your life. Thank you for loving my dear friend the way she’d always hoped she’d be loved. Thank you for Lila. And for what you inspired in all these people over the years. You did beautifully.
My god, it’s just so hard to understand.
Walking down the Ave today in Seattle’s University District, I spied the Himalayan Sherpa restaurant that opened while Matthew still lived here. I tried to make Christian Asplund guess who first told me about it. It took him just a couple of guesses to name Matthew, who was always on the look out for a unique experience, a way to find out about other people in the world and what they do. It was particularly poignant when Christian and I came back to my house and got the phone call with that terrible, terrible news, not only because we’d just been remembering Matt’s genuineness and contagioius excitement, but because the CD we all recorded together a few years ago, about to be released, was fresh on our minds. Matthew tried to come up for the event, but his busy life in the Bay Area made it impossible. If he’d been able to come, would things be different? No one can say. But we would have gotten to see him again for the first time in a few years, gotten one of those unfeigned hugs and greetings, something we can’t do again now. All we can do is try to save that legacy by being as loving to other people as Matthew was to all of us.
Some people are more ALIVE than others!
Matt was one of them. It was sure great playing with you, and our boys will never forget the image of you putting a whole garlic in your mouth at the end of a meal at Malay Satay, to ward off a cold.
Our hearts go out to your two special girls. It just ain’t fair.
It is Matt’s presence in my everyday that I will miss most sorely. Patrick and I have lived above Matt and Stacia, and then Lila too, since just after they moved into their house. They helped make this new city home to me, and broadened our world with stories of this place or that where good things were to be had or seen or heard. And Matt, as he moved about the place, inside and out, was a constant earnest and cheering presence. He took on the challenges of homeownership with confidence that if he persevered he’d figure it out–and he did. I know that in the dark times since September 11 it has made the world feel more solid and hopeful to have Matt and Stacia and Lila in my life.
Many of my memories of Matt are from an angle, since we exchanged all sorts of information with me poking out from the window above the street, and him craning his neck upward. I remember one morning especially, back when Lila was newly born, and the head of our bed was by the window. I was awake early, and peered down from the window to see Matt emerge from the house in the gray half light of dawn. He crossed the street with a small bundle of Lila in his arms and began pacing the block, up and down, up and down, talking softly and singing to Lila, giving his tired wife a chance to sleep a little longer. He glanced up at some point and saw my face in the window, and broke into that full-faced smile of his, and called out softly, hello!
Hello Matthew. There is so much left to say and do. I am not ready to say goodbye.
To his family and friends, I wish you strength, and urge you to be so careful of yourselves in these hard times. I am so so sorry for our loss.
Stacia, Lila. I have no words big enough. We are here.
Holly McGuire
I heard the sad news about Matthew Sperry from Rent Romus last night. I can’t still believe it. My condolences go out to his family and friends. It’s so sad to lose a kindred spirit in the community. He’ll be missed.
Peace,
Ernesto
I heard of Matthew’s death after getting off of work (not really a good thing to hear or feel after getting off work since work is no fun, either). It was pretty strange. Matthew’s last ever performance was in my orchestra, the
Moe!kestra! on the 3rd of June, 2003 playing my Piece No. 7. His presence was always warm, accompanied with a smile and great playing. My girlfriend, Vicky Grossi, was watching him throughout most of the performance, saying that she sensed that he was “in the zone”, a good place for true musicians to be in. He was, as always, in fine form.
I always loved how he ended his emails to me, with his XOXO, MATTHEW SPERRY. I found it homourous in a cute, flirtacious, innocent way, though I know it just was his way of ending a message in a happy, warm way.
With the passing of so many other people this past month (Rob Berger’s wife in a white rafting accident and the former guitarist from Ubzub, Brian Platt), we’re reminded that life is precious and we need to take each day to its fullest.
He had so much. I wish I could trade places and keep him here. He’ll be missed by everyone who adored him.
XOXO
-Moe! Staiano
Matthew had the kind of love for the world that most people could never feel safe in exposing. Every time I saw him he gave me so many ways, by example, to be a better friend, parent,lover. He was open to love, open to art, open to the world.
When I heard what happened, I remembered a crystal moment: my son Milo was four months old and being part of an epic Baby Posse,we as usual were hanging out at Matthew and Stacia’s. All the other moms and I had drifted to another room with all the babies in tow except for Milo who was hanging out in the living room with Matthew. I hear this intense and beautiful music and peer in to see. Matthew is playing his bass for my son with such passion,such love, with all the fire of performing in front of a large crowd and he’s giving all that love and intesity for a small noodle. He was pouring it all out for my baby and for that I will always have him close. Milo will always have a part of Matthew in his heart.
To Stacia: words don’t say a thing but we love you
To Lilinski Chica Miss Chica: meet us at the park and we’ll sing and dance until the sun sets.
Stacia, Lila, Matthew’s extended family and family of friends,
I would like to offer my deepest condolences.
Matthew was a warm, compassionate, funny, talented, sincere and inspirational person and will be missed dearly by all who have crossed paths with his life here including myself.
I wish you the very best in this enormously challenging time,
Aaron
Stacia and Lila,
The community that you have nurtured is here to nurture you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
Anita & Shiva
I heard a Tom Waites track playing somewhere here in Fremont, Seattle today and thought of Mathew. I was thinking about how he introduced me to Ethiopian food one lunchtime in between doing whatever while at encoding.com in Madrona and got to wondering how he managed to be such a nice guy while all around was chaos and craziness. And then I get home and read the email. How very very sad.
I thought I was holding it together until I started reading these postings. Then I lost it. I don’t feel articulate at all to express my feelings through these tears. The first thing I thought was, a giant has fallen. Ditto to everything that has been said. When I lived in Seattle, Matt played on almost every composition project I put together. His playing was indescribably beautiful, and, as it is with most players, it was a reflection of such beauty within. The last time I saw Matt was in the fall when I did the recordings and performances in the Bay Area with Matt and Phil Gelb. I had such a wonderful time with Matt and Stacia and Lila who were such generous hosts. My deepest sympathies go out to Stacia and Lila.
I’m stunned and feel great sorrow to hear of Matthew’s sudden passing…my heart goes out to Stacia and Lila. It seems so unreal, like it can’t be true. I’m reminded that we must never take life for granted or allow ourselves to be numbed by the day to day…every day is a treasure, and every friend a blessing. We’re all fortunate to have known Matthew and to have been touched by his wonderful spirit and musical creativity. He will be missed by many, and my prayers and love go to his family and his spirit.
To your next journey, Matthew. We all love you.
Karen
When I first heard about this tragedy I was immediately reminded of a dear friend and musician that was taken from this earth in the very same way over three years ago. Flashes of his memorial and of Matthews image playing the bass whirled around me. A couple hours after hearing the news I got on my own bass and played for/with Matthew. It was the only thing I could do to calm myself. It’s the type of loss that’s inconceivable and heartbreaking. Matthew was/is pure gold. I feel so fortunate that I had the opportunity to play, record, and experience his loving kindness first hand. The last time I saw Matthew was at a Spezza Rotto show at the Oakland Metro. He came up to me after the show and said ” that was beautiful Morgan, absolutely beautiful”. One thing we all must remember is that once you’ve experienced someone you have them with you forever. No tragedy can ever take that away. My heart goes out to you Statia, Lila, and all of Matthews friends and family.
Thank you Matthew for being a part of my life. When graced with your presence I always felt like a better person.
To the Universe and beyond,
Morgan Guberman
I was lucky enough to work with Matthew. And I am lucky enough to have had him as a friend. He had an open mind, an open heart, and a great passion for the things that mattered – his family, his friends, his music, and food.
His loss is huge, but it is extraordinary how he has touched so many people. I am glad to know that someday Lila will be able to read about what kind of a man her father was, and how he affected so many people with his love of life.
My heart goes out to you Stacia and Lila. You are in my thoughts.
I am still numb and angry over this tragic loss. I only knew Matt for a short time, but in that time I felt I had made a new friend. He was a very unassuming individual. A “true” individual who made me feel right at home with his mellow and positive vibes my first few weeks with Hedwig. Playing music every night with Matt, it didn’t take long for me to realize that he was a natural musician. The gift of music came so easy to him. It was his second nature and I respected and envied that greatly. But more than any of these things, first and foremost, Matthew Sperry was a family man. He was so proud of Stacia and Lila. He spoke of them every night in our dressing room. Their bond was truly magical. We were all sad when Hedwig closed, but I got the feeling that Matt was a bit excited to now be able to spend more time with his family.
Stacia and Lila, Abbey and I send our deepest sympathies. Our thoughts are with you.
And Matt, wherever you may be, Rock On!
Love always, Schlatko
How can you describe on Angel? This was Matthew Sperry to me. He was clearly my largest musical and social influence when I started school at North Miami Beach Sr. High. He opened my headspace to an infinite world of music with room for everyone’s expression. The kind of person that made every musical situation pure delight with his warm smile and relentless effort to make great music. We could be playing at the high school talent show (he would shrug at this point) in diapers (he would smile and say “oh god”at this point) with Wooden Diaper , or down in Coconut Grove playing jazz and Phoebe Snow tunes at the Peacock Cafe…it didn’t matter…the music would always be sincere and heartfelt coming from him. We could be playing the strings inside of the piano with only the exit light on, eating at the A & W’s between Wiz rehearsals at P.A.V.A.C., or dancing (ala Greatful Dead style) in circles around Sharon Jarnigan (supermodel type) at the 163rd St Mall in full Float Commitee gear and holding a boom box blasting Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls”…it didn’t matter…it would always be sincere and heartfelt.
There are so many great stories with Matt, but the greatest is when I saw him for the first time with Stacia. His life seemed filled with love like I had never see him before. After Lilah was born, the love cup rannith over. His voice sang with joy and happiness. He carried his family in his heart and it showed through every pore in his skin. I’m a comp;ete heel for not keeping in better touch with him and his family the past few years, but I never stopped loving my big brother. ..
Of course he would be annoyed by me, reminicing like this; but I would expect nothing less from Matt. He is truly an Angel that I’ve been honored to share part of my life with. I miss you Matt. Keep your star shining so I can find you again when it’s my time.
With love, Splash
(Jason and Brenda, Momma Hann, Captain Harry, Stasia)
Another article in the local news
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/060603_nw_musician_killed.html
The news of Matt’s passing is so dishearteningly sad. My heart goes out to his wonderful Stacia and Lila. I hired Matt to play bass for Hedwig back in Oct. I remember he came into the audition with some rather humorous face make-up and a really strange “glam-punk” stage outfit. Looking at him initially, I had to hold back a laugh. But once he started playing, it was evident he was going to be the bass player in the Angry Inch. He thought the get-up would give him an edge in getting the gig, I told him later he didnt need it. The coming months really showed what a trouper he was. I have great memories of him scarfing down his dinner between songs at soundcheck, usually some Chinese food he had just grabbed across the street from the Victoria or some wonderful smelling Middle Eastern food from home. I remember him patiently letting the makeup and clothing designers have their way with him, trying one outrageous costume on after another and finally settling on the canary yellow leather pants and the shocked out white fur vest. He performed some of the silly stage choreography in the show but didn’t care how silly he may have looked doing it as long as it benefitted the show. The priceless look on his face at soundcheck when the guitarist and I would break out some ridiculous Van Halen, AC/DC or Journey song that he didnt know but would still make a valiant stab at it and then getting razzed by us for his avant-garde background and not having his arena rock chops. No matter what the situation, Matt’s smile would clue you in as to how he really felt about something, either incredulous, amused or just plain happy. His take on things was always rooted in reality. I am honored to have played with him and to have known him. Til we meet again……..
I’m one of the many who have been deeply affected by Matt. We met in ’93, not too long after Aiko and I had moved to Seattle. He knew my name before I knew his. He was very present,and was nothing if not affectionate and supportive, as well as sweetly mocking when it seemed one was taking himself too seriously. His musicianship seemed to me unfathomably rich and alive. Honestly, I knew him just enough to love him as a friend, because he was just that way, you know? Like so many I’ll never forget you Matt. Love to Stacia and Lila.
My deepest condolences go to Stacia, Lila, and his family.
I met Matt through music, sometime in 1993 or 94, soon after I moved to Seattle. He was immediately one of my favorite people. He gave me so much encouragement and support. To me, he was like a caring brother, who was frank and straightforward, but warm and caring all at the same time. I looked up to him and often wished that I could be like him – so grounded and so comfortable with himself. It is rare to meet a person like him. I feel incredibly lucky to have known him. He will always live within me.
Matt Sperry was a great artist, friend, and free spirit – simply one of the most genuine and best people I ever met. Those many hours I spent making music with him when he was in Seattle I now realize were a gift. I am grateful for that and I will miss him so very very much. My heart goes out to everyone who knew him and especially to Stacia and Leila. It is a great loss. My love to all of you who are sharing in this loss.
Jarrad Powell
I came to Matt’s website to confirm its URL so I could brag to a friend I was e-mailing about My Friend the Famous Musician. Now I find that he was killed yesterday and am trying to hold it together since I am still at work and there is no one to relieve me. Matthew, you wonderful warm generous man…I can’t believe you are gone. I first met you in Seattle in 1991 and I loved your friendly spirit immediately. It was like we were longtime friends. We hung out for awhile and I lost touch with you, but then you were next-door neighbor to the woman I married who was also friends with Stacia and we became friends again. I moved to Alaska and you moved to San Francisco. We stopped in briefly to see you in December and spoke of Cherri’s plans to visit you in May and you insisted I visit, too. I’m so glad I did because I got to spend seven happy days with you and your family and now I’ll never get to see you again. Now I’ll never forget how happy you were that Cherri and I cooked for you, I’ll never forget you kissing your wife and daughter with the greatest contentment, and I’ll never forget your boyish glee when we went to go see a late-night showing of X-Men 2 together, just us boys. I have so many more wonderful memories of you too. Rest in peace, my friend, I love you. Stacia and Lila, we love you and are here for you.
I knew matthew as a father. I met stacia when we were both pregnant, our babies are just 8 weeks apart. She was with me for the birth of my second child, I couldn’t have done it without her support. My memories of Matthew are of a wonderful cook who always feed me when I was hungry. He was the only person in the world who could convince me to try beets. For my first year of motherhood I practically lived at Matthew and Stacia’s house, they were my family, Matthew was a second father to my son. He was always dancing with Lila and Noah, some days he was the only one who could calm Noah down. I could talk to him about anything, just like another mom. I feel so honored to have known him, to have been a part of his life and have him as a part of mine, a part of the story of my family.
To Stacia, I’m with you. Your daughter still has a father and we will be the ones to help her remember and know him, our memories will be her memories. You are not alone, you will not raise Lila alone. You and Matthew built a village, let us be the ones to see you and Lila through this. I wish I could shoulder this pain for you, all I can do is help you carry it.
All my love to you always.
amber
Brad and I knew Matthew best through his excellent playing, but we were both impressed by his easy-going, gentle personality. When we heard the news, we both said, “what a shame. Such a nice guy.” I hope I am remembered as being as nice and kind person as Matt when my time comes.
Brad Fischer and Katherine Setar
Stacia and Lila: I cannot imagine your grief. I only wish I was closer.
It is hard to measure the effect Matthew Sperry has had on my life. We were friends for almost 20 years and, even though we lived far apart for most of the last 15 or so, we always kept in touch. Sometimes he called to talk about music, but recently it was about more mundane matters as our daughters or whether or not he thought it was a good idea to become involved in a glam rock musical (I didn’t think it was as good an idea as he did. Shows what I know.)
Matthew was the first man that ever really hugged me. Not the stiff, compulsory family hugs between the emotionally-repressed men of my clan. But a genuine, loving hug. The awkward, emotionally-repressed sort that I was, I didn’t enjoy them at first, but when I last saw him at his wedding, they felt pretty natural. They felt good.
We shared a lot of the same formative musical experiences: playing in our terrible high school stage jazz band, trading records and the names of musicians, and playing in the now infamous Wooden Diaper (Lila: wait until you see a video of this when you’re older. Watch your dad sing the “Smokey and the Bandit” theme dressed in a woman’s nightgown! Pure genius.)
Matthew, more than any of my other friends, seemed to be there when I was at some low points. He supported me in high school when I was unmercifully picked on for my odd ways. When I was in the throes of a near-suicidal depression in my early 20s, I fled to his place in Tallahassee for a few days where he looked after me.
But I especially remember the last few days we spent together around the time of his and Stacia’s wedding. He picked me up from the airport, took me to eat, and then drove me home where we spent the whole day working on music for the ceremony. This is the first time we had played together in years, and I was amazed that he wanted my involvement in this process at all. Although I had over 20 years of playing, I was way out of practice and had thought the musical part of my life was over. I was WAY outclassed.
But when I went home, I was inspired to get my act together. I started practicing. I starting setting up shows. I started touring. Matthew was my inspiration and motivation during this time. I looked forward to speaking to him so I could show him how involved I now was in improvised music. Yes, I’ll admit that I was a bit jealous when he could call to say he played with Tom Waits or Fred Frith. But it motivated me.
His influence on me has been total. If I have any regrets, it is not telling him this to his face when we was here.
I think, in this life, all we can really hope for is that we touch the people we know, that we love them, that we make a difference. Seeing all the wonderful posts here, I see a person who accomplished this goal. Some people live twice his 34 short years and never come close to the love Matthew brought to his friends and fellow musicians.
I thank him for helping me feel the way I feel now, for being a role model of a man who can be loving and emotional and giving. So it is not with anger, not with regret, or insurmountable grief that I write this. I write it with joy, great joy for having known a person such as this.
Oh, and he would hate me for doing this, I’ll be happy to tell anyone who wants to know about when Matthew played Johnny Casino in “Grease” in high school. Oy vey!
I will miss Matt very much. The news of his accident has me stunned. I had the good fortune to work with him musically as a member of iv bricouleurs, and also to have him as a great friend. My thoughts are with all who are suffering this loss.
Jeff Muller
My dearest Stacia and Lila
As we come together in love and grief, the deep shock waves of Matthew’s passing are surely transforming into sound. This sound resonantes with compassion, with the potential of the society of peace that we can create.
I had the honour of playing with Matthew in Seattle, and later he joined our crazy Japanese-American group FoMoFlo to tour Italy. I’ll never forget how much he savoured every moment – the music, the food, the people, the architecture, the comedy, the history…May we all find inspiration from his open sight of the world.
with all my love
Amy Denio
I talked to and played with Matt on just a few occasions in Berkeley. He was one of the most genuine, positive people I have ever met. And a fantastic musician.
It came to me. Something like the truth. Through the ringing in my head. While tearing the Gideons to pieces. Alone in a crappy hotel. Gritting my teeth and yelling again and again -“WHY HIM!?!” The REAL reason. It was so simple. So obvious. God is assembling one hell of an act.
Your light left us anything but blind. Your love is more indelible than the richest ink. Thank you for loving Milo so much. It will never be forgotten. But I will never understand the comet-like nature of your greatness.
Stacia and Lila, you are loved more than words can express and longer than time will allow.
I just received this news and am deeply saddened . I had the honor and joy of playing music with Matt . As a person he was like his music ; honest , sincere and positive . My heart goes out to all . CF
When I got the the terrible and sad news today about Matthew I could not believe it – that such a vibrant, sweet, and inspirational person could be taken away from the world. Although I had not seen Matthew in a few years, it seemed like his name would come up often with a smile. I played with him for several years Seattle in Brainstun, various improvising ensembles and he graced my first solo recording and helped me get it together. He inspired me to no end, and just to think of him makes my heart feel lighter, because he was always bringing such light and joy into the spaces and people around him. When we both played on Elle,
-llman’s long string instrument trip in Europe in 1998, we had an amazing time running around Berlin and Prague and Cologne, finding all the cubist archeticture, drinking absinthe, finding the best chocolate, walking walking and talking about the beauty and craziness of the world. I will miss his gentleness, his string hugs, open heart, his love of life and joy for his family. My heart and love go out to Stacia and Lila – if there is anything you need we are are here for you. May you be at peace Matthew – Jessica
Weeping impotently at one in the morning, having just read Amy Denio’s email. All of my familiar surroundings now seem so hostile for their failure to share a world with Matt. Just reading his name on the personnel lists of Dan Plonsey’s gig announcements would have such a comforting effect. It was great just to know that he was out there sharing his music and uplifting everyone to whom he spoke. Someone said that happiness is having something to look forward to, and I must say that it is disorienting and somewhat nauseating not to be able to look forward to my next encounter with Matt. Seeing him always had that sense of relief and arrival as if I’d been looking forward to it for weeks, even if I just saw him randomly at the supermarket.
Before subbing for him in Hedwig, I hadn’t seen or talked to Matt for a few years. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to reconnect with him before this happened.
Stacia, you are in my heart and my thoughts. Lila, I know that the relentless positivity gene that you inherited from your father will help you and your mother through this.
This news really took my breath away. I am so, so sorry for this loss, sorry for all of Matt’s family and friends and listeners.
I kinda sorta knew Matthew many years ago, not too long after he got to Seattle, and very shortly after I did — the only musical thing I had going on then was playing in a gamelan, and I had gotten a job at a place that no longer exists, because a couple of the people I played with already worked there. These people also had Gamelan Pacifica ties, and I guess that’s how Matt ended up working there, too, doing the same crappy job I did. I moved on shortly thereafter, and our paths didn’t really cross so much after that, before he left for the Bay Area. But I always remembered him from that time as a genuinely nice guy that I was really rooting for, and so I always kind of perked up when I heard about something new he was involved in, or saw his name on a track listing of something or other — somehow I had the idea, wow, I’ll be able to say, Gee, I knew him when…!
I so much wish it didn’t have to remembering him be like this, right here. But I am so delighted to see that while he was walking the planet, he touched so many people so positively, so joyously.