The world has lost a shooting star. Matthew Sperry was hit by a car while on his bicycle this morning, and left this earth shortly after. In addition to being a wonderful father to two-year-old Lila Simone and husband to our good friend (and doula) Stacia, Matthew was an incredible bass player, a rising star who appeared on Tom Waits’ last two albums (and an accompanying David Letterman show), the last Anthony Braxton record, David Byrne’s “Feelings,” a fantastic Black Cat Orchestra recording called “Mysteries Explained,” and on and on. His resume tells the story.
Matthew also played bass / chorus member for half a year in the San Francisco production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, not because it paid well, but because he loved the story, loved the outrageousness of it all. Even if it meant having black fingernails and traces of eyeliner by daylight for months on end (check his fingernails in the play-dough image below).
I’ve got one of Matthew’s older avante garde recordings with an outfit called “Impossible Underpants” (his comment denying that Impossible Underpants ever existed is here), and Matthew’s bent for comical strangetude is all over it. Matthew was also the mastermind behind Los Platanos Machos Quattros, the four-piece guitar outfit we put together for Roger’s 40th birthday, just to create and sing one song. Matthew was a trip, relentlessly creative.
I also have a CD by “The Matthew Sperry Trio,” only Matthew isn’t on it — it’s a quartet comprised of musician friends of his, who just wanted to name themselves “The Matthew Sperry Trio.” Inside, the liner notes are plastered with pictures of him as teen idol, pinup boy, clean-shaven, short hair. The centerfold pictures him naked, holding a stuffed frog. This is how Matthew affected the people around him – his sweet, slightly surrealistic sense of humor was inspiring and contagious.
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As Amy said, when he saw you, he hugged you, and he hugged you good, like he was really really happy to see YOU. He called me once while sick, flat on his back, just to chat, reaching out toward friendship even at his lowest. He worked so hard to feed his family, was always so full of good cheer and crazy ideas. I can’t believe he’s gone. Nothing anyone can say or do can rewind the moment, change the fact that a shining star has blinked out for good.
Seeing his giant standup bass cases around Stacia and Lila’s house today was hard. Larger than life, they stood in corners like proxies for Matthew, just hanging out with us, maybe laughing, maybe plucking, slapping, sawing at their own strings. I don’t have any good pictures of Matthew playing, but here’s a good one (playing with Dan Plonsey — a Bay Area composer and improvisor with whom Matthew played often — they shared a strong aesthetic).
Our hearts go to Stacia and Lila, who have the hardest road of grieving in front of them. I hope that Lila is old enough to one day have a glimmer of memory of her wonderful father.
Dazed, I picked up a book of Chuang Tzu’s writings off the top of a packing stack tonight, and opened up to this line:
How do I know that the dead do not wonder why they ever longed for life?
We pray that Matthew is at peace, happy, making amazing music somewhere.
Updates: The Oakland Tribune ran a brief memorial piece on Matthew. The SF Chronicle had another.
If you would like to leave flowers or memoria at the accident site, this map will get you there. Stacia’s friend Erika (who is being a rock through all of this, valiantly holding things together) asks any camera-oriented folk to please photograph whatever gets placed at the site.
Bassist Mike Watt dedicated the encore of the final show of his “the cord that spun its own top” tour to Matthew.
A memorial concert for Matthew will be held June 19 and all are invited. This information has gone out on the newswire.
Matthew’s memorial took place Monday, June 9 at 1:00 in Oakland. A summary of the memorial service is here. The program guide can be downloaded in PDF format.
If you are in the New York City area, a memorial will take place Saturday, June 14, at 4pm in in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Sheri Cohen plans to go to Volunteer Park in Seattle at 9:30 PM on Tuesday, June 10 to remember Matt. She invites all who would like to join her to meet at the ‘donut’ and all can go off to a quiet place together.
LeapFrog, Matthew’s last employer, is setting up a college fund for Lila through Bank of America. Details are still pending and will be posted here as soon as they are available.
In the following days, Shiva will continue at Stacia and Matthew’s home. Please feel free to visit during the day. Stacia would love to see you. Shiva will end on Father’s Day, with a memorial walk leaving from Stacia and Matthew’s home at 4:00 p.m.
The memorial service for Matthew Sperry was held at the Chapel of the Chimes in Oakland California on Monday June 9th from 1:00 PM to 3:00 PM.
The Chapel of the Chimes
at the Entrance to the the Mountain View Cemetery
4499 Piedmont Ave, Oakland, CA 94611-4218
The family is declining flowers and would like any donations sent to a fund for Lila’s education. More information will be available regarding the fund on Monday. There will be an opportunity to make statements at the service if you would like to prepare anything ahead of time. For those of you traveling via a bereavement flight, the funeral director is Edward Bell (510) 654-0123. Those of you in the New York Area should contact Marna Schoen to coordinate a New York area memorial.
Matthew’s memorial concert will be on June 19th. Details here.
Matthew I love you. I love that you keep your hair in a bottle and i love your hugs and i love your smell and your fuzzy hats and your warm warm smile and sleepy eyes. i love a just woken up from a nap dreamy matthew. i love the museum of jurassic technology and i just want to hug you again. this world is blessed having had you and i am changed having known you but i still feel robbed from precious precious sweet you i love you matthew i miss you and my heart is broken.
stacia stacia i love you and i love lila.
Dearest Stacia and Lila,
The sadness that so many us feel can only be a minute proportion of your pain. My heart goes out to you both and to Matthew’s family. In the deepest, most gentle place I can find in my heart. I am thinking of you and holding such loving thoughts of Matthew.
Nick’s mother, Judith
My name is Madison, I’m 8, Matthew Sperry was my uncle. I miss him alot already. I think that he was one of the nicest people on Earth! I try to think of it as, he did not deserve to die, but he did deserve to go to a better place.I will miss him.
It’s impossible to imagine Matthew being gone. By now it’s a long time since we met, I think it was not too long after he’d arrived in Seattle. His combination of talent, laser focus and goofy sense of humor was irresistible, and Kyle and I immediately starting roping him into all manner of projects, hair-brained and otherwise. I can’t remember him ever saying no to a chance to play.
I keep thinking about how we’d spend hours and hours at the dining room table after rehearsals, eating, drinking and listening to music, talking about dogs or restaurants or bosses or whatever stupid thing. Those are such nice times, so simple and excellent, spending time luxuriously with your friends, just being with them, doing nothing much. Of course you always think they’ll be a next time, and then one day there isn’t. This seem so impossibly much too soon.
It was really a lucky treat to have spent so much time with Matthew, working and goofing off. He was a really sweet guy, and he’ll be very sorely missed by I can’t imagine how many people.
I first met Matthew about 15 years ago or so, on a thanksgiving weekend in Florida. The “baby brother” of my girfriend Estee. My first time meeting the family and I will never forget it. Matthew was this sweet innocent kid, still in school, with so many fresh idealistic thoughts and dreams. I liked him immediately! When I was a bit younger I had similar ideas and aspirations, to play music, touch people, make them think, Where I had given up on many of these thoughts Matthew was a fresh reminder that all in this world is possible, I admired that in him.
As time passed he became my brother in law. We did’nt see him alot, but when we did it was always the same, a big hug a big smile, interesting converstion about life, music.
We followed his progress, Florida State orchestra, graduation, all the different bands he played in. I still have the “nose flute” he once gave me from some music he had been playing. It was always a thrill to hear of any success he was having with his music, how could you not pull for him. I had never met such a refreshing person. Estee was always so proud of any accomplishment he made, so was I.
It was a special treat for me that he played with Tom Waits, someone who was a personal favorite of mine, and I remember years ago he and I playing a version of Jersey girl, me warbling through, I think he got a real kick out of my attempts to play, he was never derogatory.
The day came that Estee and I divorced. It was a very difficult time in my life and his attitude toward me never wavered, When I was especially down I recieved a tape from him with whatever strange stuff he was listening to at the time and a silly photo of his head superimposed on that of a bride, with a cat as the groom. crazy Matthew!these simple words written on the back, ‘Don’t forget to find happiness in your world. Its there, trust me.’ Matthew. It made me smile. He always made me smile. That card has been on my refrigerator ever since. He never stopped being my brother in law, I never stopped thinking of him as my brother in law. He was the “happiness” that is in this world, a shining light, touching the hearts of all that knew him. He made me want to be a better person. That is his gift that I want to carry to his niece, my daughter Madison. To be the best person that you can be. Honest, loving, goofy, adventurous, creative full of wonder, like her uncle Matthew.
Matthew, you were my brother, you are in my heart always. I will miss you so much.
I love you, Gary
Stacia, god bless, I am so sad this day this world has lost something special.
I went to the Web site at the Bay Improviser, at first thinking, oh, Matt’s doing something great in the Bay Area, but then… I couldn’t believe the news. I simply wept. Matt is the second friend I’ve lost to an automobile in the past week.
Matt and I met in the early 90’s when the iv bricoleurs played for an art exhibition my husband Edward and I organized… he’s been a huge part of the Seattle art and music scene and I will miss his presence. The world lost a wonderful soul.
I have a story to add to my earlier posting. I was afraid to share it before because, well, I don’t know why really. I guess I was trying unsuccessfully to distance myself from the reality of this sadness.
I met Matt when I joined Gamelan Pacifica several years ago. He would always offer to share some of whatever snack he had at that rehearsal. At the time, I was attending Cornish College of the Arts and the time came for me to do my senior piano recital. I don’t know how he knew that my recital was happening, but he came to it. I was so surprised because he is just such an amazing and busy musician, but he made the time to come to my recital. I’m sure most of the music that I played wasn’t too interesting to him, but he did have some comments for me. Among them, he thanked me for showing him that there were two pieces of music that Franz Liszt wrote (Nuages Gris, or Gloomy Clouds and Wiegenlied, or Cradle Song) that he actually liked. That comment still puts a smile on my face. Christian Asplund introduced them to me in a class at Cornish, so I think it’s kind of a neat link. When I heard the news, looking for some way to express my own appreciation of him, I dug out those pieces and played them for him and cried and remembered and cried……
The last time I saw Matt was about a year and a half ago at a friend’s birthday dinner in Seattle. I met Stacia and Lila then too. I am so happy to have seen them all together.
I miss him.
Strength to you all,
Michelle
It breaks my heart to know that Matt is gone. We lost touch after he and Stacia married and established their life together in Oakland. The last time we were in contact was around the time of Lilaís birth. We first met in Olympia, shortly after he made his westward move from Florida. He called me one night while I was spinning disks for my Othersounds show on KAOS. Matt was probably the most informed and enthusiastic caller I ever got. We bonded immediately around our passion for the quirky, queer, and curious sounds of Bali, Java and Tuva and innovators like Partch, Cage, and Frith. Before he made his move to Seattle, I had the good fortune of being able to improvise on several occasions with him and two other friends, Colin Green and Taze Yanick. As someone with no musical training and very little ability, it was a thrill for me to jam with such a talented and dedicated artist. Matt was such a unique person- witty, child-like in his wonder, spontaneous, generous, disciplined, and intensely uncompromising in the pursuit of his creative work. But Iím only scratching the surface with these words. Although a lot of time passed since we saw much of each other, I feel brutalized by this loss. He was a beautiful, precious person and I will miss him dearly.
I met Matthew at a playground last fall, and he joined my all-dads playgroup. We quickly realized how much we had in common, from from the way we dealt with our kids to the music we listened to. We also discovered a few friends we had in common. I hadn’t seen him since he went back to work some months ago, but we had kept in touch and had been hoping to get together with the kids this summer. When I read of his death in the paper, I was floored…
I will truly miss Matthew, and will never forget his wonderful smile.
My love goes out to Stacia (whom I never met) and of course Lila.
Evan
I don’t have anectodal stories to share, born out of regular interaction with Matt. I knew him through my husband, Larry Marotta, who met Matt in high school and who posted here previously. But it is amazing to read how my impressions of him, first formed nearly 15 years ago when we hung out together in FL, fit what so many who knew him far better than I describe. How many people are who they are, as clearly and openly as Matt, so that brief encounters with him and deeply connected relationships reveal the same person? He was a gift to know and to be inspired by–across the miles here to Ohio or the house next door.
It was and still is such a shock.
Sincerely and with much love,
Becky
I first knew of Matthew as a faceless neighbor, when we were first overwhelmed by the purchase of our new house, worried about the burden we had taken on, the work we had ahead of us to make the house livable, and wondering what sort of people we would be living next to. It turned out that Matthew and Stacia had bought their house at about the same time. My partner Julie called Matthew to ask about removing some trees in our yard that would affect their privacy. He was open, warm and welcoming. From that one conversation, we thought that we may actually have a good relationship with our new neighbors, and even grow to like them.
We had no idea.
Our family has been tremendously lucky to share all the little day-to-day details of life with Matthew and Stacia: struggling to fix our houses, sharing our challenges and joys in parenting, sitting with both families squashed together at the kitchen table eating a meal, toasting the arrival of Lila and Ariana, hanging out on the front steps – watching Lila, Nina and Ariana in some complicated game they’d just invented.
Having Matthew next door was simply – comforting. Comforting to know there was someone I could share any thought with, or with whom our children always felt safe, or who I could see cooking or cleaning in his kitchen at 11 o’clock at night while I did the same in mine.
I am sorry to say that I never heard him perform. Since we would always be in each others’ lives, there would be plenty of opportunities to see him play, wouldn’t there?
Well, Matthew, you will always be in our lives.
Stacia and Lila, we will always be in yours.
I still cannot believe our loss of Matthew. The thought of it only hurts when I breathe.
Isidro
WOW.
I’m speachless. This is a terrible loss to the music world & to those who were close to Matt. I only knew Matt for a brief period through “Gumby” playing in Salsa Florida at FSU. It didn’t take long to figure out what a talented and gifted musician he really was. Like Gumby, Matt opened my ears another world of music and for that I will be enternally grateful. My father (Dr. Robert L. Smith) and I send our deepest condolences to his family and loved ones.
Murray Smith
Matthew touched so very many people with his special warmth, sweetness, love of life and talent. We, like so many others grieve for his loss and we take strength from his memory.
Love, Judith Kossy and David Perry, Chicago
Reading these beautiful entries, I am envious that I wasn’t a musician who got to collaborate with Matthew, nor did I get to see him as a father. Both experiences must have been beautiful. But I did have the joy of knowing him as a friend in Seattle, and his dedication to his music and to playfulness had a strong impact on me. Matthew worked harder than anyone I knew at juggling all the aspects of work and creativity to make his music life rich and forward-moving. And he still found time to convince and organize enough of his friends to get a group rate to enter Eggopolis, when Kids’ Fest came to town.
My heart breaks with the loss of Matthew and his amazing energy. May we all aspire to be more like him.
Although we lost touch after he left Seattle, I’ve always thought highly of Matthew as a person and artist, and glad to hear of his accomplishments with his music and family. I had the pleasure of working with Matthew at encoding.com and was greatly inspired by his passion for music and great sense of humor. my deepest condolences to stacia and lila in this difficult time, and wishing you the best.
i was just in contact with matthew last week and was supposed to have played with him this past weekend with tim perkis. couldn’t wait to play with the two of them – what fun that would be! such creative musicians, and such nice guys!
i first met matt when he came down to calarts with scott rosenberg to do a session in 2000. i was so touched by his gentleness of spirit as well as his incredible musical ideas. i’ve loved being in contact with him since and his wonderful notes, always ending with XOXO, matthew. my deepest condolences to stacia and lila.
what a magical human their man is!
xoxo,
harris
I knew Matthew through my work and I remember him as someone who was very unique, genuine and special. I loved hearing Matt’s stories about his music gigs and was always so inspired by his talent and his passion for life. I remember meeting Stacia and Lila a few times at the office and how gorgeous Lila smiled and laughed, such a happy little girl full of life, just like her parents. My heart goes out to Stacia and Lila. May they know that Matt is always with them in their hearts and souls. He is an angel who will watch over them forever. Matt was very loved. We will all miss him dearly. Our hearts are with Stacia and Lila, we wish them strength and love.
Matthew was magical from the first moment we met him.I will always remember and treasure our special time together right after their wedding when we sat and talked in the hotel in San Franciso.That is when I really discovered the beauty of his soul,his peaceful and warm way , and his deep love for Stacia..He has made an impact on so many and we pray that Stacia and Lila will feel his special presence forever..The music goes on..
Matt was a gifted musician, a joy to play with and a wonderful person besides. It always brightened my evening to see him perform or just bump into him at a show. My condolences to his family. He will absolutely be missed.
I’ve known Matt since the late eighties and early nineties in Tallahassee. If I remember correctly, my first contact with him was when he took over six-bass duties in a steel band. He was a much better six-bass player than I was. Around that time, we did Tenney’s “Beast” together, scattering beats around some concert hall there; it was an enjoyable collaboration.
I was always very happy to see him when he’d come down to visit the Bay Area from Seattle, and then very happy when he finally moved down here. I remember, when he visited, the way he’d smile broadly and look away when I pounced on every excuse he’d begin to offer for not moving to the Bay Area. He was a delightful person and seemed always to be smiling. Although I’d kind of lost touch through the music scene, I ran into Matt, Stacia and Lila, also both delightful, sometimes on Piedmont Ave. I think one of these impromptu meetings was the last time I saw him. He appeared to be thriving in every way.
This is just one of those painful things that doesn’t make any sense.
Dave
I was saddened to hear the news of Matthew’s death. I’d only just met him, but he seemed like such a great person. We shared a love for the experimental muse, as well as knowing many of the same people in the experimental music community. It was a joy to watch him play.
My thoughts are with you, Stacia and Lila.
eric
I met Matthew while working at Virage. I cannot say enough what an upbeat, honest, and nice person he was. He was an inspirational artist and wonderful individual. I wish his family the best during these hard times.
I haven’t seen Matthew for 4 or 5 years, since I left Seattle to move to New York, but I still remember his huge grin, his warm hugs, his amazing playing, his goofy sense of humor and, more than anything, the amazing amount of enthusiasm he had for his art, playing music that was not widely appreciated or even heard. I remember watching and listening with awe as he tirelessly explored, and then mastered, every possible sound that could be coaxed from his bass, and I am not surprised, years later, to read of the success and recognition he had as a musician in more recent years. I am even less surprised to hear of his accomplishments in so many other realms, as a father, and such a dear friend to so many.
When I first met Matthew, it was 1993 or 1994 and I was working as a music journalist in Seattle, covering the avant-garde music scene as best as an untrained non-musician with curiosity and enthusiasm for the music could. I remember him playing in so many different groups and settings, usually for small, awed audiences, at the Penny University, the Speakeasy, the OK Hotel, and remember how much fun it was to get to know him off stage. I count Matt among the most inviting guides I encountered in the scene – his love of what he was doing was truly infectious, even to non-musicians, and his music was so convincing and moving. I am greatly saddened by his loss, but most of all because of what an incredibly warm and good person he was.
The world is in dire need of more people like Matt, not less – how many people are contributing so much to our spiritual growth by adding such creative and high quality art to the world, and also at the same time, besides their creative contributions, managing to brighten the day of every single person they meet with pure warmth, humor, generosity and love? So few, and now one less.
Stacia and Lila, I haven’t met either of you but I am thinking about you constantly right now, wishing you strength, support and love.
I never had the pleasure of meeting Matthew, but I heard about him from my teenage son. David was a frequent audience member and usher for Hedwig. He told me about how “awesome” everyone related to the production was. And he told me about Matt. And he told me about Matt’s PANTS! David coveted those pants–the black and yellow leather patches laced together–in Hedwig. So, of course I noticed Matt right away onstage, because who could miss those pants?
David loved the whole cast and crew, even though he hadn’t known them very long. But he got to hang with them a little after a few of the shows, and he went to the cast party on closing night. He came back raving about everyone, especially Kevin and Matt. David said that at that last party, he’d mentioned to Matt that he really wished he could have sung with the band, and Matt told him he wished he’d known, because he would have had David sing with them during sound check. David thought that extraordinarily kind–obviously one of Matt’s greatest strengths, according to all of these tributes.
David dragged me to Hedwig for Mothers’ Day. He insisted I would love it (which, of course, I did). It was his Mothers’ Day gift to me. And it really WAS a gift–I wished that I had seen it more than once. And now I’m so glad that I got to see and hear Matt play, if only that one time. And though I did not get to meet any of them, I did see Matt with Stacia and that beautiful little girl after the show.
Reading through all these wonderful memories and thoughts from Matt’s friends has left me in tears. I know how much knowing Matt has meant to my son. Obviously, he was a very special and talented person, with very special and talented friends (judging from their writings here alone). I truly believe his spirit will always be with everyone whose life he touched–and that is a lot of people. He will always be with and watch over Stacia and Lila.
I don’t even know how to end this, so I will just say Shalom (Peace).
Faith Luber
Dearest Stacia and Lila: Words cannot express our feelings of sorrow and disbelief. Stacia, as we witnessed your wedding, we could tell that Matthew was not only the love of your life, but your closest friend and soulmate.We still smile at the memory of you looking at Matthew with a big smile and sighing, “Oh Matthew” as though you had just then realized how wonderful he was and how much you were meant for each other. Hopefully time may ease some of your pain as you focus on the beauty that you shared during your lives together. Remember that Matthew will always be watching over you and Lila.
Cousins Judi and Peter Biltekoff
There is perhaps nothing as heartbreaking as an unfinished life.
I had just received and sat down to have a first listen to a recording session Matthew and I participated in just a couple of weeks ago, when I received the news. NO NO NO, I thought, my mind collapsing. It really can’t be true! This isn’t happening, not here, not now, not to THIS person, this beautiful guy, fantastic musician, loving father.
Matthew Sperry was one of those all-too-rare beings, a force for goodness and light. His passing is tragic, inconceivable, unfair, unbearable–I can only echo the words of so many who have already put their voices to record here.
Yet, after witnessing the beautiful memorial service in Matthew’s honor today, it occurs to me that only a life as lived by Matthew–loving, open, spontaneous, creative, intelligent and warm–could have brought so many people together and engendered such an overwhelming feeling of humanity and all the emotions it contains.
As Matthew’s father so movingly said today, Matthew was his role model. I would add, he is a role model for ALL of us, of a way to truly live life to the fullest extent, always seeking the greater good and the highest joy, with an open heart and compassion and a bearhug for everybody. Even in the deepest throes of tragedy, he can teach us this.
All the same, I will miss him terribly. My heart goes out to his close friends and family.
I had the honor to become a friend of Matt’s through Susan Lacritz. Matt and Susan had known eachother from high school days in Miami. Matt and I were roommates and played in a band called Grecian Formula 69 while in school at FSU. Those who knew Matt will smile in knowing that one of the fondest memories I have of him was when he once wore a dress on stage for a gig. As I recall,
there was the usual tension present among certain
members of the band, and Matt had the perfect remedy. I can only echo all of the other sentiments others have already expressed. Matt was truly a unique individual; one of the warmest, funniest most talented people I have ever met. We lost touch after he moved West. We reconnected via the internet when Matt became a father. I remember the pictures he e-mailed and how proud he was. I was thrilled when I got to see Matt play with Tom Waits on Letterman. The impact Matt had on so many people, both musically and personally, doesn’t surprise me. I am a richer person in so many ways for having shared a portion of my life with Matt.
I organized the very first Olympia Experimental Music Festival in 1994, which Matt played at with Phil Gelb and Christian Asplund. I was very sad to hear of his death. He was a wonderful musician, and an extremely upbeat and friendly guy. He shall be missed. I am requesting that this years 9th Annual Olympia Experimental Music Festival have some sort of dedication in his honor.
I talked to Matt the night before he left us. He was getting on his bike and stopped to talk before he rode away and I’m honored that he did. He cared about things no one else cared about, the little things in front of us every day that we forget easily. I never got to know him as well as I could have, but we talked comfortably and memorably together when we did, he felt like a real friend. One whole week I burst into smile every time I saw him, he asked why, I had some response about seeing him as his Hedwig character at work, but I think really it was just him. He deserved a big smile for just being himself.
Stacia my sweetness, I wrap my love around you and Lila as you always have for me. You and Matthew opened my eyes, opened my heart and touched the lives of Venus and I with your endless love, compassion, and friendship. We are here for you and Lila every single step of the way. Thank you for bringing Matthew Sperry into my life.
Alis
Matthew Sperry
I’m finding it hard to accept the fact that my friend Matthew is gone. It truly makes me realize how precious my family, friends, and life are to me. After attending the beautiful service they had for Matthew today, I…
Stacia & Lila, I am a neighbor of yours, have only met you a few times, and met Matthew for the first and last time at the Emerson school clean up a few weeks ago. I am so incredibly saddenned by your loss. I just want you to know that the wide web of love, compassion and sharing of grief is much larger than you know. I only wish this wide web could spare you some of the pain you face, yet I know it cannot. I only hope it will make the road ahead a little less forbidding. My one and only meeting with Matthew revealed the sweet incredible soul that he was. He was diligently and devotedly working on the flower garden for the Emerson kids, smiling his beautiful smiles and exchanging warm “hello’s” with all. He was truly a person present in the moment and present to those around him. I found myself wondering why we’d never met him before, thinking “what a nice guy” and how we’d like to hang out with you all. And I chuckled and marvelled at the incredible and sometimes irritating sweetness of love, when you, Stacia and Lila, arrived to find him still working on those “damn flowers.” I smiled at you, Stacia, and laughed to myself, having been in your shoes with my partner many times, being irritated by the very things that made your Matthew such a wonderful human being, the things that drew you to him. I could see the deep connection and understanding between you, the juxtaposition of irritation and love that almost always shows up with real relationship. I liked you both immensely in that moment, showing your humaness and your selves and your love. That love, so apparent, so real and strong, will stay with you always, Stacia and Lila. As you face this immense grief, you are blessed by being surrounded by family and friends, but always know there is even more support and compassion here around the corner, literally, on Manila Avenue. With deepest sadness and compassion, Lisa Tracy & family
I never met Matthew. Matthew was my cousin. But while his mother lived in Florida, I lived in New York. Years after his mother moved to Colorado I moved to Florida. I was with his grandparents when the terrible news came. My heart felt like lead knowing so well the pain that follows. I also lost a young son some years ago and I know that feeling of disbelief. Perhaps I will wake up from the bad nightmare. All those feelings kicked up in me the night I sat with Matthew’s granparents. After reading your heartfelt condolences, the many, many of you, I want to leave you with this. This is for Matthew and all his friends….
Those who bloom in the hearts of others never fade away.
The sea recedes behind bright jewels in the sand.
May you cherish the beautiful memories forever.
Matthew Sperry was one of the first people I called when I moved to Seattle in 1997. He knew of my work and let me know how excited he was about it and told me he wanted to play in my band right then, on the phone without even meeting me. There was an openning in the co-op house that he lived in and because of him I was able to live in an expensive city in low-cost housing. Not only that, it was fun living in the same house with him. It took a year for me to get the finances together to rent a rehearsal space, but Matt was right there, still enthusiastic to be in my band. He played the bass octave, of course.
The installation process of my instrument has been a real ordeal, long tedious hours. Pieces of wire and wood are coaxed and tweaked until finally it becomes a musical instrument. One gig I did with Matt was particularly a burn-out, but I always get privately really excited when I sense that moment when it all becomes musical and resonant- this makes it worth it to me. I knew Matt felt the same way because after working really hard, he still had the enthusiasm to hold his arms out towards the bass resonator and say, “Come to Papa” (!) (Sorry Lila, but this was before you were born!) He made my instrument sound good. Matt had a feeling for the resonance of strings.
Two weeks ago I was making plans to visit the bay area for a weekend to check-out an opportunity that I have to move there. I called Matt and Stacia to make plans for a date. I spoke to Stacia on the cell phone since Matt was driving. She relayed messages between us. He asked me if I moved to Berkeley if he could be in my band. I told Stacia to tell him he had a lifetime membership. I heard him laugh. He made me feel so good, I was so happy that he still wanted to play in my band. Our date never happened, but I was glad to be there to go to Matt’s memorial service.
Whlie riding back home in the airport shuttle an older man sat beside me and said he was going to Capitol Hill. I was curious that such a conservative-looking older man was living in the most hip Seattle neighborhood. It turns out he was a priest who has spent the last 15 years in Latin America working for the rights of children. He said the only two nations in the U.N. who have not signed the international charter for the rights of children are the U.S. and Somalia. I felt this man was some kind of messenger from Matt. We drove past Seattle University, a Catholic college, and I told him about St. Ignatius chapel and how it is famous architectural landmark. Then I remembered I found out about it through Matt, who organized a group of us to go look at this chapel.
http://www.seattleu.edu/chapel/
Then I remembered that Matt introduced Malay Satay Hut to his friends. Ever since I have taken special people there and I refer to it as, Malay Satay Hut, Matt Sperry’s favorite restaurant.
I was actually just talking about Matt Sperry a couple nights ago just after playing a music festival in Oregon. After I met and became friends with him, I asked him to be my upright bass teacher. He helped me pick out my upright, loaned me his extra bow for an indefinite period of time, and above all inspired me to be an amazing bass player, like him. When I was dirt poor, he didn’t even charge me for one of the lessons! I felt lucky and extremely appreciative to have someone of that calibur teach me how to play the upright. He definitely made a big impact on my life, as he did for scores of people that were lucky enough to meet and befriend him. I will continue to send out my best wishes for his family, whom I never had a chance to meet, and I will grieve his death for some time.
Matt, I love you.
Ryan
I will never forget Matt’s warmth towards me when I moved to Seattle in the mid ’90’s. He was the top bassist in town and rather than show even the tiniest amount of competitiveness, he was hugely supportive and treated me like an old friend before 3 minutes went by. We were not close but I considered him a friend and even recently when I traded emails with him his kindness and generosity came through. I loved his playing and his spirit and am in great shock at the tragedy of this loss to the world.
Reuben Radding
I wish to express my condoloences to the family and friends of Matt Sperry, a dedicated artist and craftsman whose part in the Left Coast music revolution was cut short in the second act. Though I didn’t know him personally, his name and his legacy are known to all of us who toil away on the Great Work; and we will continue this Work till we all find White. See you when we get there, Mr. Sperry.
5000. – N.
Claudia, Dylan and I are deeply saddened to receive the news of Matthew’s passing. Our prayers are with Claudia’s cousin Stacia and of course with Lila. Although I only had a limited number of opportunities to spend time with Matthew, he was clearly a very special individual with a loving soul, a seemingly endless artistry and an effervescent sense of humor. Two memories of my time with Matthew and and the Sperry / Biltekoff families stand out -the first being Stacia and Matthew’s wedding, which was a uniquely warm event that their extended family and friends all felt a special part of, and the second was of the Garfinkel family party last year, which unfortunately Matthew was unable to attend, where I watched our daughter Dylan and her cousin Lila dressed up and dancing around together to the delight of all present.
Reading through the other messages here, it is abundantly clear that Matthew deeply touched each person that he befriended. I am sorry that I did not have the chance to get to know Matthew better, but I will treasure my memories and share them with Lila as she grows up so that she is always reminded of her father’s special place in the hearts and minds of family and friends.
I hope that Stacia and Lila can take some comfort in knowing that they were blessed by their time with Matthew and that he will watch over them with a smile and a song. As a father, I hope that his spirit, vitality and love continue to be expressed through Lila and that her life will pay tribute to his memory.
Amongst the chaos of the world we all share, it is tragic that events such as this are often the only catalyst to force us to evaluate what really matters and take time to be grateful for those things.
Kevin Bell
Dear Matthew,I remember the good times we had together going to Young at art, my neighborhood pool,and dancing to Disney tunes with Staicia,Lila,Niki,Alyssa,and I.Also,when I played Spanish guitars,and part of my Fandango(I learned the whole piece now.)I miss you tons and tons of tons.Tears are pouring out of my eyes so much,I think I could fill ten milk jugs.Well I guess now you can see Mojo.(remember him?)Remeber to play fecth with him o.k.I love you and miss you.Love your cousin(or neice)Lindsay.
I am Matthew’s cousin, through “marriage”. My partner’s father and Matthew’s grandmother were brother and sister. Julianne and I have lived in Oakland for 16 years — she from Montreal and myself from NYC. Neither of us have relatives nearby, so when Stacia and Matthew moved into the neighborhood, we were thrilled.
We were there when Lila was born, it was the most moving experience which we will cherish forever.
The three of them were over our house a week ago Saturday. It was a beautiful afternoon and we barbecued some veggie burgers. Matthew was joyfully playing with Lila. Lying down, he held her on his chest, her little hands on his face, rough from a day or two without shaving. I feel blessed to have the memories of such wonderful times with them.
reading through all of these heartfelt memories of matthew, i’m reminded of what a truly special person he was. along with his ability to be the consummate musician, he had such a warm and engaging personality that you always wanted to be around. i was fortunate enough to have him perform on my radio show on several occasions. and when coordinating a music festival i was involved with, we always joked that matthew was going to be on stage almost the entire time because everyone wanted him in their ensemble. i hadn’t spoken to him for several years, but i saw his name on recordings or concert listings and knew he was making magic happen and bringing people together. he will certainly be missed dearly.
my deepest sympathies go out to you, stacia and lila.
I hadn’t known Matthew for very long since he had left the company encoding.com shortly after I had joined. Before leaving for the Bay Area, he visited the office, and pointedly took the time to sit down and chat with me for a while, even though we were barely aquainted.
I still remember that conversation, as well as the image of him cooking lunch in the company kitchen everyday, filling the office with aromas that made everyone hungry…
I was out of town when my husband told me the tragic, unbelievable news. Matthew, Stacia and Lila live next door to us on 49th Street. I didn’t know him well in the conventional sense. We lived our lives side by side, saying hello as we went to our cars, chatting on the street when we got home, sitting on the front steps together watching our babies grow.
Over time I learned that he was a musician. I regret so much not having seen him perform… I never imagined that the chance would not come again.
I learned more about Matthew at his memorial service yesterday. My gut feeling of him being a truly exceptional person was confirmed by all those who knew him better than I did. I am so sad that I won’t get to know him better. I am devastated that Stacia has lost her mate and Lila her dear father.
Matthew went by me on his bike on Wednesday. He flashed a big smile and called out “Hi Hae!” as he rode past, so full of life and joy. How can he be gone?
Today I went to the corner where he died. HIs beautiful spirit is so apparent from the makeshift shrine erected there by his family and friends — notes and flowers taped to a no parking sign, more flowers and candles at the foot of the pole. I talked to several people who came by — they didn’t know Matthew, but they had been there on Thursday and wanted to know more about him, look at the shrine.
Going there made Matthew’s death more real to me, but I am still not ready to accept it. I want to scream and yell, no! this can’t be!
My experiences with Matthew were limited, but his positive energy, enthusiasm and cheerful demeaner were wildly infectious. His passing is genuinely tragic and shocking. He was and is an exceptionally talented musician, father,husband and human being.
Dear Matthew,
I love you! We all miss you and love you. The last time I saw you we went to the kids museum. I had a wonderful time with you, Stacia and Lila. You made me feel special. I wish you were here to see how big I got.
We will love you forever!
Nicole Nuzzolo 10 years old, Matthews cousin
Dear Matthew,
I wish that never happened. We all miss you. Me and my Mom were crying when my mom tried to tell me. When I saw you in New York in central park and you rode my scooter you were going to play the cielo. I had a lot of fun. If you were here I would like to see you next holiday.
Love
Stefanie Maricic, Matthews 8 yr. old cousin
xoxoxox
I had the good fortune of working with Matthew for two years. For a time, our desks at Virage sat just a few feet apart. The fond memories of Matt are many . . . but what I’ll remember most was his laugh – that rich, full-bodied guffaw. His sense of humor, much like his taste in food and music, was sophisticated and finely honed. A boisterous laugh from Matt could be read as a sure sign that something special and original was afoot. He laughed with a remarkable amount of intelligence, sincerity and joy. Thank you, Matthew. I am so lucky to have known you.
What a pleasure and privilege it has been to play music with Matthew. We met shortly before he was married to Stacia, and actually auditioned our Klezmer band for their wedding. To our delight, we found that he also played bass, and was looking to join a wedding band. After listening to us, he hired us. Playing weddings, we generally let people request a few songs for us to learn. Of all the popular songs to pick from, Matthew requested one that few of us even heard of. It was “Mais Que Nada” by Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66, about as far stylistically from Klezmer as possible! (I guess he never even imagined other musicians werenít as eclectic as he was.) Soon after the request was made, Matthew auditioned for the band, and after playing for about five minutes we knew he was the one for us. We never did get around to learning the song, and though disappointed, Matthew never really got on our case about it–he accepted our limitations, made perhaps only a few sarcastic remarks, and was never brought up again.
He was always full of surprises. In May my wife and I lucked out and got complimentary tickets to Hedwig. After seeing him perform on stage the finest evening of flat-out, kick-ass rock and roll, done up in glam rock attire, full of angst and attitude, when the show was over it was so refreshingly back in his true character to find him happily waiting for his friends at the exit doors collecting donations, grinning ear to ear, still sweaty from the show, genuinely thrilled to see us, and happily giving out hugs all around in that punk vest and mascara. He hadnít played with our band in a while, and was looking forward to performing at The Mandolin Festival later in May, though he would have to leave early to play again with Hedwig in the evening. That was the last time he played with us, and was probably the best our band had ever sounded. Being a drummer, playing music with Matthew was pure joy. He was always locked in on the beat, yet amazingly creative within the structure of the music. Able to clearly communicate non-verbally and effortlessly where the music should go, never playing exactly the same thing twice, but letting the song dictate what it would become. One of the highlights for me when he played was when it was time for a bass solo. To match technical ability with his creativity and musicality always made me wonder why he was playing with our band! As long as Matthew was playing with us, there were never any train wrecksómaybe a little sloppy around the edges, but as far as the bass was concerned, he always put the notes right where they belonged and helped us all play together as a tighter ensemble.
Yesterdayís beautiful memorial made me feel that many also share the same feelings of gratitude because we knew him.
I too am shocked by this horrible news. You just felt better when you were around Matthew. My heartfelt sympathies go out to Stacia and Lila. What a great loss to our community.
my heart, shattered to pieces is being warmed by the sentiments on this site. i want to thank you for posting here and for everyone who spoke and played at the service. i’m so in need of community right now and i’m trying to learn to reach out the way matthew did. please stop by my house this week. i’m sitting shiva (like an open house) until sunday. even if i dont get a chance to really talk to you when you are here it comforts me that you are present. we all need to grieve together, supporting each other-its how matthew would have wanted it. much love-stacia and lila